The other day I was looking through some files on my computer. I came across a note that I had written in divinity school. From the title and the content, I had my seminary friends and myself in mind when I wrote it. Seminary has a way of being stressful. I, apparently, responded to that issue by writing this note. I am not sure if I ever sent it off to anyone, but as I read through it I could not help but realize how appropriate a reminder it is as I start my new position at the Hampton-Varnville Charge! Though this was written with seminary students in mind, I think it is relevant to many of us today. Hope you enjoy.
Letter to Friends
10/22/2005I lift up my eyes to the hills-
From where will my help come?
My help will come from the Lord,
Who made Heaven and Earth.
-Psalm 121:1-2There comes a time for us to stop. There comes a time, among the chaos of existence, when we simply must cease thinking, acting, and most importantly we must cease worrying. At this moment we find God, in all his majesty, reminding us of who we are, who we will be, and more amazingly who He is. Give us the strength to close our eyes so we can see you, Lord. Let the world cease existing before us. For we know that you God, alive to us all, will be there waiting.
My friends please do not think I am writing specifically in response to something I have seen in you. The truth is the time has come for me to stop. I have, already, begun to feel a bit of peace. No, in truth I am writing to myself. Writing is the breath I exhale before I close my eyes. And, the time has come for me to close my eyes. It is the type of writings which lacks a good thesis, sympathetic understanding, and a conclusion that has a ‘so what’. No, it is the type of writing that says ‘Here it is. Take it for what its worth.’
It seems, recently, that I have heard people express the necessity for confession. I admit, this strikes me as awkward and beyond my culture. Perhaps, there is something in it, though. With that in mind, I find there is something I must confess. I have forgotten who I am, who I have been called to be, but more frightening I have begun to forget who God is. That is why I must write. I must confess that I have forgotten.
A few years ago I sat down with my pastor to share with him my concern that I had been called to attend seminary. He asked me what I intended to do after I had completed my studies. I am sure I told him a number of things, but I do remember telling him that I had considered academia. I will never forget his response. He is a serious man who has a passion for the Church. He looked at me and said, “Ross, we will always be able to find people to teach in our classrooms. It becomes difficult once we look for people to lead our church congregations.” Now, I do not mean to say that academia is for those who can not lead, or that teachers lack spiritual strength. In fact, I am continually amazed by the presence of God in the teachers I have been blessed to learn from. No, I only recall this story to emphasize the significance of our study. There is meaning in what we are learning. We have not been blessed with the opportunity to learn a knack or skill. We have, rather, been called to lead. At some point in all our lives we were called by God to serve Him in a profound way. We may end up in the parish, classroom, college ministry, non-profit, politics, medicine, or whatever. In which ever case, it remains equally important that we recognize we have been blessed by God with the opportunity to glorify Him through our service as leaders.
I was having dinner with a friend a while back. I can not remember what we ate, but I will never forget the conversation. She confessed she was angry that she was not able to know Jesus the same way the disciples did. I am pretty sure I said we can all have a personal relationship with Christ, and that relationship is transformative. My response was probably even more cliché than that. She shook her head and further explained. I understand, now, what she wanted me to recognize then. What she was trying to say was, “Ross, the disciples walked with Jesus, followed him, touched him, hugged him, kissed him, the disciples saw him and talked to him. Ross, the disciples got to sit with him and hear him say for the first time the very words that we read in the Bible every day. They saw his lips move as the words came into this world.” I guess I have considered the disciples ‘kicking it’ with Jesus. I guess I forgot that all those stories really happened.
I think of my friend’s desperate wish to have been able to follow Christ during his ministry in contrast to Simon and Peter’s calling into the ministry. Remember, Simon and Peter were fishing in the Sea of Galilee when Jesus sees them. Jesus approaches them and says, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” (Matthew 4:19) And, that is just what Simon and Peter do. I am not sure if there was anything else to that conversation or if Simon and Peter had been seeking this position for some time. Scripture teaches that Jesus approaches two men, almost arbitrarily, and invites them on the most exciting adventure in History. As I consider my own calling, I wonder who I better compare to: my friend who desperately wants to be a part of Christ’s ministry or one of the care free guys fishing in the sea. Why am I here? It seems that I am constantly considering this question. My point is that for some reason God has called us. He could have chosen anyone, and there are a number of people who would desperately wish for this opportunity, yet, we received the blessing. God has blessed us with a calling to lead. We have been given the opportunity to serve God in an amazing way. And I forget to notice this. I forget to recognize the blessing. I forget to see the opportunity. What is more, I forget God, the very God I praise in worship, contemplate in class, and pray to ever day. I forget.
(I am getting tired, and I need to close my eyes, so I am going to tie this together)
I just want to say that I am pressed by the thought that we are at an incredible point in our lives. We have the opportunity to learn so much about our Lord, our Church, our Faith, and our existence. I have, recently, fallen to the competitive nature of humanity. I forget what I am studying and why I am studying it, only to concern myself with the prideful need to surpass you in scholastic standing. I am not sure why any of us are here. I do believe God knows why we are here. Psalms 121 says, “I lift up my eyes to the hills- From where will my help come?” I can see the hills before me: 3 years of school papers, books, relationships, financial aid, field ed, and the all important question, “What will I do in the name of Jesus?. But, should I focus on those hills? Maybe if I lifted my eyes a little further I would see God waiting for me. The hills might not seem so bad then. They might not even matter.
My friends there is one last thing we must recognize. God has called us together. Each of us has been plucked from our distinct place in this world. We come together with different experiences, understandings, cultures, ages, sexes, races, and scholastic background. All called together to serve. We have all been given this blessing, this opportunity. Perhaps, we could join together in an effort to make God known. Perhaps, we could lead together. Perhaps, today we could recognize that God has placed us together for a reason. Perhaps.
Seek to Glorify.
While overlooking our blessings can be easily done, often times ignoring our blessings is more difficult. Today is my birthday, so I am especially appreciative for my life. I am not just blessed to have a life. I have been blessed with the specific life that God has offered to me. The other night I was reminded of how awesome a life God has given me. I was visiting with some members of the Hampton church as they celebrated their daughter's birthday. After dinner, a couple of the youth decided they wanted to go 4-wheeling. When I heard "4-wheeling" my eyes got real big. "Dang," I thought. "I want to do that!" So, I asked if I could join and was lucky to be included. 
I've had a few people remark that Hampton is in the middle of nowhere. I am learning, though, that sometimes you have to go nowhere in order to get somewhere. Ephesians tells us that God has blessed us in Christ in the "heavenly places." I used to think that Heaven had to be some far off place. Like, maybe, another world away. As I said, sometimes you have to go nowhere to get somewhere. As I slowed down the other night I realized that God has blessed me again. He has tucked me away in a community that lives in a little piece of Heaven. As we went 4-wheeling through acres and acres of corn fields and bean fields I began to be taken over by the beauty and simplicity of God's creation. Whistling down long dirt roads I smelt the freshness and perfection of the world that God shaped with his hands. As we road through the woods, ducked under low branches, and road over make-shift bridges I was reunited with the adventurous spirit God breathed into me as a boy. I was reminded that I was alive in a world created by an amazing God. I remembered that with this life God has given me (and all of us) and opportunity to get to know Him simply by living and loving the lives he has given us. 